Saturday, January 9, 2010

mouthful part II.

(previous blog continued)...

Passion2010. Passsion was great. It is always very well done. Although everything about it is big (leaders, worship, lights, numbers, etc.), the focus is always on Jesus and the heart behind it is His. In the past, Passion has been an "oh. my. gosh. this is the most incredible thing everrrr" few days. I entered these few days expecting the same feeling but what I realized was that I do not need all of the "big stuff" to experience Him anymore. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED it. But, it was cool to see the consistency that has developed in my walk with the Lord. Now, I can hear Him and experience Him in a quiet room, or I can feel His presence as I'm walking to class. It doesn't take the worship leaders, speakers, and 22,000 other college students to get me 'fired up.' Experiencing worship with 22,000 people is a beautiful thing. To me it is a small glimpse of heaven. Corporate worship is one of my most favorite things. But, I have learned that I can give Him the same amount of praise when I am alone. It's a good place to be. To be dependent on ONLY Him. To be consistent. To be very much in LOVE with Him. To feel unshakeable. To be clinging to Him. And to be passionate about Him. So, Passion2010 was a good few days to hear some great speakers and worship Him corporately, but it's cool to see the growth I have experienced as I look back on the past conferences I've been apart of. $600,000 was given for several causes over the few days. That was one of my favorite parts about it all. Check all that out here...

School. It has begun. And whats new?? It's hard. It's not where I want to be. I am questioning yet again. All I can think about is injustice. The world. I doubt so much. I know that I am here for a greater purpose. I always doubt if there is where He wants me. I also doubt if I will ever have the skills I need to fulfill His purpose. I feel like I could never be prepared for where He will place me. But, I am reminded that it is not me anyway, it's Him, using me to reach His people. So, with Him, I can do anything. May He ALWAYS remind me that it is NEVER by my strength, but always by His.
I was listening to a David Crowder song yesterday and these lyrics struck me. It seems like this is the Lord speaking to me as I struggle and doubt that He is equipping me for something great.

O please do stay
Where you remain
Do not fall
Do not fall
Something greater
Is on the way
Just hang on
Try to hang on
Try to hang on

1 comment:

  1. I enjoyed reading this wonderfully created blog + cool background!! :) I think my favorite thing in these two blogs was the part about worship and how you are content with Jesus without the music, lights, speakers etc. I was talking to others about that too in how if you can't get to the point of worship where your hands just shoot up in praise and surrender during a Hillsong concert, in a room by yourself-then something is wrong. Anyways, I love you.