Sunday, May 31, 2009


I can't believe we only have a couple more days in Bali.  Tomorrow we have the day off....I'm excited.  I can't complain though.  We have spent the past few days at the beach.  The mornings were spent doing beach evangelism (i.e. talking to local vendors and tourists).  Both days I ended up talking to Balinese Hindu women that were selling things to the tourists (and when I mean selling, I mean attacking =))  I asked them many questions about their beliefs while at the same time trying to be bold and share my beliefs.  It's hard though.  There is nothing in these women that think they need to change their religion.  What's even harder is that even though they believe/worship many gods, they still claim it is only one god, just like Christianity.  I asked why they are constantly giving offerings to their gods and she said for good luck.  She went on to compare Hindu offerings to a Christian going to church and singing songs to God.  I told her the reason we worship and praise is out of sincere love and adoration.  We love the way He has worked in our lives.  She responded by saying they love their god too.  It is SO HARD because although we know Christianity is SO different from Hinduism, they think it is very similar.  Defending your faith is not easy.  I just want them to understand and it's hard not to get frustrated.  The one thing that is so different between the 2 religions is that Christianity is all about LOVE and FREEDOM.  I had to rush out of this conversation because it was time to meet the team.  As I left I looked at her and said this one thing, 'you do NOT have to work for your God.  Jesus came and died for you to set you free from rules and giving sacrifices.'  I don't know if she understood because her english was very broken but my prayer is that something stirred in her.  Hopefully something in that conversation brought her a step closer to knowing Jesus.  I want these women to know that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for them already.   I want them to know that God is a God of love who desires what is best for us.  My prayer is that they would come to know this, whether it be through dreams, people, creation, or whatever!  I believe He is working but Indonesia needs prayer.  

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


A few of us went back to the hospital today. We went to visit/pray for the little boy I talked about previously who had 2 brain tumors and could not walk, see, and speak. The grandfather told us that he walked last night!!! He walked all around the hospital! He is still very weak and must regain strength in his legs but PRAISE THE LORD! I think we just witnessed a small miracle...hallelujah. God is good.

i lean, i lean, i lean

A lot has happened in the past few days. Monday was our day off so two of our new Indonesian friends (Agung and Rafon) took us to two different beaches, one on the east coast and one on the west coast. The first was a little cove called Blue Lagoon. We relaxed in the sun and snorkeled. It was amazing. The second beach was very different, it was one of the hottest surf spots in Bali. It was at base of big cliffs, and absolutely beautiful. So we had a really relaxing day and for a few moments it felt like I was on a real vacation. Haha, it was a nice break.

So yesterday we were back into ministry. I woke up with a bad attitude, so hot and tired, but in my time with God I was reminded that in my weakeness He is strong. His power is made PERFECT in my weakness. Hallelujah. We helped clean the YWAM base here in Bali because the first DTS in three years starts next week. The base was formerly owned by a Muslim and Hindu family. Frieda (our YWAM contact) told us that they often feel spiritually attacked while in this building. The base needs a lot of prayer. After cleaning me, Emrie, Rachelle, and Andrew went to work with a Street Kids Ministry. This was my favorite childrens ministry we have done. It was in an extremely poor area of Bali, the poorest I have seen here and worked in a small, dark, square room with about 30 kids from that area. We sang songs for them, played games, and just talked with them. These are the kids who have never received the love they deserve, kids who cling to you and never want you to let go because they have never had anyone show them love like this. My heart just aches for these children. I was reminded of my time spent in the Kibera slums of Kenya. It is a good but HARD reminder of poverty and brokenness all over the world. Too often I think I deserve to be comfortable...I do not have rights! What do they do to deserve to live like this?

Today a few of us went into the hospital. We were able to meet and pray over 3 seperate patients and their families. First was a little 8 year old boy with two brain tumors, he could not talk, see or speak. When we were praying over him I really felt like we were FIGHTING for him. All 4 of us were on our knees with hands layed on him. We wanted so badly for him to be healed. I know that sickness is NOT from the Lord. I know that as a daughter of the King I have authority. As we've been going through the book of Acts I've seen how normal it was for Peter and John to preform miracles. I wish we could have seen this child walk, but I guess it wasn't God's plan yet. I don't really understand this but I do trust Him. Although he wasn't immediately healed it was an amazing experience. The Spirit was in us, we were fighting for this boy, and it was evident. I will never forget this.

I have really felt like I have been needed and used the past 2 days here. Loving the poor and praying for the sick is what this is all about. It's what makes me excited. It's what points me to Jesus.

We only have one more week in Bali and then I will be headed to Taiwan, crazy.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

tokayyyy (bali)

Tokay=my biggest fear in Bali.  Causes lots of laughter/jokes amongst our team.  Lives somewhere in our room.  Holy Crap.  Check it out:  

The past few days we have gone into several schools, youth programs, and churches.  Performing dramas, giving testimonies, and preaching are now in full swing.  I gave a testimony at a youth program the other night...I think it went well.  Our time here has been good and busy but I can't help but feel like there is more.  When I walk out of the gates of our base and walk the short distance to the internet cafe, I am reminded that I may be the only opportunity these people get to hear the gospel.  My heart longs for people to know this great God of mine.  To know the freedom we have in Him.  To know how loved they are.  To know who created them.  I am desperate to be used by Him and walk completely in His Spirit.  It has been hard though.  No matter how much sleep I get I am so tired.  The heat literally drains every once of energy out of me.  But, I do not want to miss any opportunities.  We are here for such a short time so I must press into Him harder.  I cannot have one foot in the present and one foot in the future.  They must both be here, running to Him with everything in me.  It is so hard not to think about what my life will look like come August.  Or how great it will be to be reunited with friends and my amazing community.  I am praying that my mind will be completely clear and completely focused on Bali.  I am on a journey.  I am learning what it looks like to love, look, and live like Jesus.  I am constantly thinking/asking Him what I should do.  Constantly trying to hear His voice.  

The team has been really good. Lots of laughing.  Not much frustration (which will come when you are constantly with 8 people for 3 months).  This is community.  We are all so different but are in Bali for one purpose.  We desire to see His glory and His fame spread throughout the world.  

The food is amazing.  I look forward to every meal, which is very different compared to Africa.

Africa has been on my mind a lot lately.  I love being here.  Like seriously love it.  BUT, I miss Uganda.  I miss the African culture, the children, the praise, and the simple hope and joy on that continent.    

The team is going through the book of Acts together.  Great book.  Read it.  Chapter 4=amazing.  Courage.  Boldness.  Awesomeness.  ("For we CANNOT help speaking about what we have seen and heard" 4:20).

Tomorrow we have the day off.  We're heading to the beach.  Cannot tell you how excited I am about this.  Kites are everywhere here.  Can't wait to fly one tomorrow.  

Just put up a link for pictures.
Ok, that's all for now.  
I'm sweating...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Well here I am, in Bali, sitting in an internet cafe. It's HOT. That's an understatement. But, I feel very blessed to be here and see this beautiful country. We are living at a YWAM base and working a lot with children. We are partnering with a local church, Compassion International, and the YWAM base. It's very cool to actually see and work with the children so many of us sponsor. These children are being raised up to be the future leaders and break the cycle of poverty. As I was sitting in a classroom yesterday afternoon looking at the beautiful Balinese children I was overwhelmed with joy and love for these future leaders. I was proud of them and the way they soaked in all the information the teacher was giving them. It's almost like I was able to see them through the eyes of my Father. Cool.

There are several streets kids that come by the base in the afternoons and we are able to hang out, play games, and teach them english. Last night a few of us went to a language class and were able to have conversation with young adults learning english. I loved this. I loved getting to talk and learn about each other's worlds, the differences and similarities in the cultures. Today we went up into the mountains with around 250 youth from the church for a picnic. It was about a 2 hour drive and the traffic here is insane. That's an understatement. There are 20 times more scooters than cars and no rules what so ever. Scary. But, once we got there we set up in this beautiful park. It's very tropical here...beautiful multi-colored flowers, coconut trees, and very green grass. It was an enjoyable afternoon of worship (in their language), relay races, and capture the flag.

Bali is 95% Hindu. As I walk down the street I am constantly stepping over offerings filled with incence to the many gods of Hinduism. It breaks my heart. The architecture, statues, and temples everywhere reveal Bali to be a very dark, heavy, and spiritual place. One thing the Lord is reminding me is that He is alive here even if it is hard to see by just walking through the streets. There is a community of Christians and although it is small, it is strong. I am thankful for them. This is His nation and we are here to claim it for Him. He made these beautiful people, He knows them, He loves them. Maybe they don't acknowledge Him...but He's here. It's really easy to be overwhelmed by how many people do not know God but rather are constantly working for many gods, constantly trying to please something that doesn't exist. It's sad. But, I am reminded that when just one person comes to know Him all of heaven rejoices. We are trying to be His hands and feet. I can't do it without Him. I am powerless without the Holy Spirit.

Those are a few thoughts for now. Peace out from Indonesia.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

goodbye NZ, HELLO world.

Well, I am officially leaving New Zealand.  Crazy.  It's been wonderful.  Although it's sad to leave, I am ready.  Next time I blog I will most likely be in Bali, Indonesia.  Wow.  Cool to think that we are all leaving from the "ends of the earth," heading to 21 different nations around the globe, and literally meeting back in the center of the world, Israel.  Here is a brief overview of life for the next 3 months.  Prayer's are always needed.

May 18th-June3rd BALI
June 3rd- June 19th TAIWAN
June 19th-July 13th CAMBODIA
July 13th-August 2nd THAILAND
August 2nd- August 14th ISRAEL
August 15th ATLANTA, GA

"...the Lord has annointed me to preach good news to the bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."
Isaiah 61

More updates to come...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

what's your dream?

This week, our final week of lectures, Joseph Watson (from Nashville!) has been speaking on Destiny/Calling/Vision.  His friendliness, energy, creativeness, and intentional heart and desire to see us FREE has been incredible.  He is filled with the Spirit and has SO much good stuff to impart to us.  He is stirring up what God has put in us.  He has reminded me to LET God love me.  To throw off the boxes the world is constantly putting us in.  To expose the lies of who we think we are.  To remind me that I am in His family.  I am a daughter of the King and just being born pleased Him.   Joseph has reminded me of my glorious inheritance.  Joseph is a huge dreamer.  It's inspiring.  Yesterday he gave us the following question to answer:

If it doesn't matter how much it costs and you knew God would say 'yes' to ANY dream, what would you ask Him for?

Fun question isn't it?  Joseph started sharing his creative, detailed answer which consisted of this multi-million dollar fine arts center, including 4 amazingly designed buildings with a marble fountain in the center, in several countries all around the world.  My immediate reaction to this was REALLY?!  Are you kidding?  That's not possible, it's not reality.  BUT, this was a reflection of my little, doubting faith.  Isn't it so normal to think like this?  To immediately think this would never happen.  Quit thinking in a box.  The same reason I reacted to Joseph's dream is the same reason I've never dreamed as big as I could.  The size of the dreams in my life are a reflection of who I think God is in my life.  Now that I know this, I'm dreaming BIG.  I always thought dreaming big was being selfish and materialistic when really He is the one who has put them in me.  He is a LOVING Father.  He loves enjoyment and entertainment.  He loves to play.  I was created to change the world and I can't change it unless I dream big!  I don't know about you but I want to be mighty in the kingdom of heaven.  I have to throw off the world's thinking and let Him reveal your dreams to me.  It would be lazy to say I don't have dreams, we all dream (Joel2:28).  A common question about dreams is 'what if the dream isn't from God?'  Check the motivation behind the dream.  Is it to further the kingdom? 

Yesterday we shared our dreams verbally.  We prayed over each others dreams and encouraged each other in these dreams.  When you share verbally you are taking a step of faith and claiming how big our God is.  Dreaming is worship to Him.  He wants to hear what He created us to enjoy!  He put it in us.  It delights Him.  So many times we wait on God to give us a word before we open the door when in reality He is waiting on us to take the step of faith.  He will continue opening doors.  Keep on walking forward.  Keep striving to achieve your dreams.  God is more excited about our dreams than we are.  Also, as a family, as brothers and sisters, we should be the most encouraging people in the world.  Don't doubt!  Tell people about your dreams and if they don't doubt it they will probably add to it and make it bigger and better.  The more fingerprints involved in a dream, the better.  SHARE dreams.  Stir each other up.  There is SO much potential in all of us.  Habbakuk 2:2 says that "though it linger, wait for it".  It's in His timing.  Money is just digits to Him.  Believe in Him and hold on to it.  The key to unlocking dreams is how you see yourself, SO start seeing yourself the way God see's you.  Dreaming is fun.  I have big dreams.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

love god love people

My heart is for the nations.  All I can think about right now is loving people, ALL people, bringing the good news to people.  I have a passion inside me.  A passion that is itching to be spread.  I cannot sit any longer.  I cannot say enough how excited I am about outreach.  I am radically hungry to see people set free.  I am IN LOVE and I am ready to spread it.  My thoughts are consumed with Jesus and it's such a great place to be.  Since I have been here my continuous prayer has been for more love and passion.  And when you ask, you will receive.  Amen.  All I want is to be in His presence.  I am going to step into these countries BOLDLY.  Knowing exactly who I am and why I am here.  I will enter these countries in authority as a daughter of the King.  I am claiming these lands for Him.  In His name the enemy will flee. I'm ready to do His work.  I feel like an overflowing cup... I have so much good stuff that needs to be poured out.  I am lucky enough to actually get to GO in a week.  I know that many of you would love to be in my position.  I am blessed.

But more than me, I want so badly for people to grasp this joy and excitement for missions that we are meant to have.  I want other people to be excited about it.  It's what we're made for.  Not only is my heart for the nations but God's heart is for the nations.  We cannot claim to be a Christian and not see the constant theme of missions throughout the Bible.  Missions is not just for the crazy ones, it's a calling for everyone.  As I have mentioned before, my biggest fear when I return is complacency.  In America it's so easy to forget what's going on in the world.  It's easy to get wrapped up in my own life, to go through a day without thinking once about the orphans, the broken hearted, the hopeless, the ones who might never hear of our Savior.  


We must quit living like pharisees who talk talk talk but never do anything.  It's all fine and cute when we go to bible study and church but we actually should do something.  We have to get out of our "gated" communities and start doing His work.  Get out there.  Let's get outside the box that religion so easily can put us in.  It will be worth it.  No, it won't be easy.  We WILL suffer but this is the narrow road.  Jesus suffered.  He left an example for us to follow. Suffer for the sake of others.  HOLD ON.  It's hard but the world is in need.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


As I have mentioned before and as most of you know, I have one week left of the lecture phase of discpleship training school in New Zealand.  My time here has been absolutely amazing, inspiring, and life-changing.  It has been awesome having each of you as a part of this journey.  Your comments, prayers, emails, etc. have been so encouraging.  I hope ya'll will continue keeping up with my adventures/thoughts as I am about to embark on the biggest journey yet.  

Our team still has many preparations to make before we leave for Southeast Asia.  It would be awesome if ya'll could join me in praying for some things.  
Hearts of the people in Bali, Taiwan, Cambodia, and Thailand will begin to soften.
People will be open and receptive.
Contacts in Bali (plans still need to be made)
All the YWAM teams scattering throughout the nations.
Strongholds to be loosened.
We want to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  He will use us regardless but the reality is that we are still sinful humans.  Pray that the enemy will have NO place among us or in SE Asia.  We need as many prayers as we can get.  

Also, as time winds down here and tickets have been bought, there are still brothers and sisters in need.  I'm blessed to have all my finances paid, but several students are still waiting on God's provision before we leave.  We need every individual talent and personality that each person brings to our teams.  We are a family and I cannot see people left behind.  I cannot continue on this journey knowing that I am leaving friends who wouldn't get the opportunity to use their training of the last 10 weeks as God intended.  Each of us has given up our own plans and interests in order to serve Christ's kingdom during this time.  God can and will use every person and resource offered to Him.  If you or anyone you know is at all interested in supporting world missions in this way please pass this along or contact me.  Every bit counts and time is of the essence.  We leave May 18th.  Without support some of us will not be getting on the plane. 

p.s.  I posted a few fun videos from the past 10 weeks.  Check them out if you have time.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

the edge

As outreach approaches I want to share a few thoughts with ya'll.  In a week from Monday I will be getting on a plane and heading to Bali, Indonesia.  It's crazy to think I have been in New Zealand for almost 3 months now.  This rural town of Oxford has become my home.  These people have become family.  I don't want to leave this beautiful country.  I'm going to miss my bunkbed and bunkmate, friday night outreach in Christchurch, my wonderful small group and small group leader (Julie Anna), and all the familiar faces that I have come to know and love.  

The past few months I have gone back and forth between being nervous/anxious and SO excited about Southeast Asia.  A lot of ministry we will be doing will consist of speaking (i.e giving testimonies and preaching) to large groups of people and performing dramas.  This scares me.  It's not what I'm good at.  But, as time approaches I can honestly say I am ready.  People have spoken words over me that have encouraged and reminded me that God is going to do big things.  There are times when I think the task in front of me seems so huge and I feel inadequate or unprepared but God has reminded me that I am ready.  Over the past week I have consistently been reminded through people, prayer, and music of Peter taking the step of faith to walk on water.  I feel like God is going to ask me to step off the edge.  I know that when I do this, either He will catch me or He will give me wings to soar like an eagle.  What is the worst that could happen?  I feel like He is pushing me out and I get this overwhelming feeling that He will fill me and His words will flow out of my mouth.  A friend here gave me these words: 'Ride without worry.  Loosen the reins and continue to trust.'  As you know, I love riding horses so I love this analogy.  It makes perfect sense to me.  When I step out of the boat, like Peter did, He will not let me sink.  I will not doubt His promises.  This doesn't mean it will be easy but I know that my faith and trust in Him are about to increase tremendously.  I am so excited for outreach.          

Although I have LOVED listening to people speak, I am ready to get out there and do something.  I'm ready to put all this into action because what good is all this information if we don't live it out.  I'm ready to love on people and bring Jesus to areas who may have never heard.  I'm ready to experience these countries with 8 really awesome people.  I'm ready to present the gospel and build relationships with people.  I want to PREACH GOOD NEWS TO THE POOR.  I want to BIND UP THE BROKEN HEARTED.  I want to PROCLAIM FREEDOM FOR ALL THE CAPTIVES and COMFORT ALL WHO MOURN.  I want to PROVIDE FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE. And BESTOW ON THEM A CROWN OF BEAUTY INSTEAD OF ASHES, THE OIL OF GLADNESS INSTEAD OF MOURNING and a GARMENT OF PRAISE INSTEAD OF A SPIRIT OF DESPAIR (Isaiah 61).  I know that only God can offer these things, but as my team and I enter these countries our prayer is that we will be a vessel for Him.

P.S.  I just added new pictures.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

human or dancer?

This week has been challenging.  SO good, SO hard, SO freeing.  I have been made new.  I can't even begin to type out all that has been going on try and share all that is happening in my life but here is my attempt.  

On Friday, our final day with Mark Parker, all we did was worship.  From 9am until 8pm we met, and began a journey starting at the gates and entering into His courts.  We came before the Cross, gave up ourselves and felt His presence like NEVER before.  We began with singing and speaking out in thanksgiving, naming what the Lord has already done in our lives.  There was a tension/heaviness that filled the room.  We, as the body of Christ, were not releasing it all to Him.  Mark called us out on it and TOGETHER we started to tackle the fear and complacency that was holding us back. We began receiving images from our King and acted on them.  The men gave us an unbelievable picture of what it looks like to FIGHT for the cross while the woman encouraged/cheered them on.  The "warrior" in each of them came out as they fought to get through the interlocked arms of brothers to reach the Cross.  Then, they all laid face down and all the women walked across them to get to the Cross.  It was a beautiful picture of our roles as men and women in this battle for our God. 

Feeling complete freedom, we all fell at the foot of the cross, feeling safe and unified among each other and slowly ALL the walls fell down around us and I have NEVER experienced worship like that before.  Physically lighter, completely focused, and drowning in the Joy of the Lord.  We had left the "gates" and had now entered into His "courts."  From there we stood up one by one and laid things at the cross.  As each of us stood up and spoke out, the presence of the Spirit got thicker and thicker, we were in a Holy Place.  I laid down something in my life that I didn't want to, something that controls me, something that is/would hold me back.  This was huge.  I basically gave Him my passion, my gift, and my talent. It was scary. But I declared that I will follow Him wherever He leads me and do whatever He calls me to do.  I'm nervous but obedience is what I want.  I want so badly what He wants.  I love Him more than anything.

After doing this we then repented and confessed things before the cross and to each other.  This was HARD but humility destroys the power of darkness.  It's tough to get up in front of over 50 people and confess selfishness, laziness, fear of man, jealousy, and a sense of entitlement.  But, as everyone stood up and repented of their own stuff and was transparent you could see their spirit become so pure.  It was beautiful and as you can imagine everyone was feeling very vulnerable and open.  Afterwards we were each prayed over and ministered too.  We continued to worship, were individually anointed/commissioned and prophesied over, and lastly we all received communion.

I have never imagined worship like this before.  I was so full of joy and freedom and I still am.  The whole room was filled with crazy people, jumping all over the place praising and worshiping the Lord with renewed spirits.  I want to cling so tightly to this new freedom and joy.  I think the best way to describe this day is to say that I experienced a piece of heaven on earth.  The fellowship, the community of like minded believers, the love and outpouring of Christ, standing at the foot of the cross and in HIS COURTS was a feeling like none I've ever experienced.  I have never in my life experienced His Presence so strongly.  I don't think I will ever be the same.  I am changed.  It was a milestone.  I feel like He has told me to GROW UP.  I may have made a decision that will wreck my little plan for life.  But, I am part of His HUGE plan.  From here I just want to continue acknowledging Him.  He knows my heart.  I want to be known for who I am in Him.  I gave Him my all, I gave Him my life.  I'll see where He leads me.