human or dancer?

This week has been challenging.  SO good, SO hard, SO freeing.  I have been made new.  I can't even begin to type out all that has been going on here...to try and share all that is happening in my life but here is my attempt.  

On Friday, our final day with Mark Parker, all we did was worship.  From 9am until 8pm we met, and began a journey starting at the gates and entering into His courts.  We came before the Cross, gave up ourselves and felt His presence like NEVER before.  We began with singing and speaking out in thanksgiving, naming what the Lord has already done in our lives.  There was a tension/heaviness that filled the room.  We, as the body of Christ, were not releasing it all to Him.  Mark called us out on it and TOGETHER we started to tackle the fear and complacency that was holding us back. We began receiving images from our King and acted on them.  The men gave us an unbelievable picture of what it looks like to FIGHT for the cross while the woman encouraged/cheered them on.  The "warrior" in each of them came out as they fought to get through the interlocked arms of brothers to reach the Cross.  Then, they all laid face down and all the women walked across them to get to the Cross.  It was a beautiful picture of our roles as men and women in this battle for our God. 

Feeling complete freedom, we all fell at the foot of the cross, feeling safe and unified among each other and slowly ALL the walls fell down around us and I have NEVER experienced worship like that before.  Physically lighter, completely focused, and drowning in the Joy of the Lord.  We had left the "gates" and had now entered into His "courts."  From there we stood up one by one and laid things at the cross.  As each of us stood up and spoke out, the presence of the Spirit got thicker and thicker, we were in a Holy Place.  I laid down something in my life that I didn't want to, something that controls me, something that is/would hold me back.  This was huge.  I basically gave Him my passion, my gift, and my talent. It was scary. But I declared that I will follow Him wherever He leads me and do whatever He calls me to do.  I'm nervous but obedience is what I want.  I want so badly what He wants.  I love Him more than anything.

After doing this we then repented and confessed things before the cross and to each other.  This was HARD but humility destroys the power of darkness.  It's tough to get up in front of over 50 people and confess selfishness, laziness, fear of man, jealousy, and a sense of entitlement.  But, as everyone stood up and repented of their own stuff and was transparent you could see their spirit become so pure.  It was beautiful and as you can imagine everyone was feeling very vulnerable and open.  Afterwards we were each prayed over and ministered too.  We continued to worship, were individually anointed/commissioned and prophesied over, and lastly we all received communion.

I have never imagined worship like this before.  I was so full of joy and freedom and I still am.  The whole room was filled with crazy people, jumping all over the place praising and worshiping the Lord with renewed spirits.  I want to cling so tightly to this new freedom and joy.  I think the best way to describe this day is to say that I experienced a piece of heaven on earth.  The fellowship, the community of like minded believers, the love and outpouring of Christ, standing at the foot of the cross and in HIS COURTS was a feeling like none I've ever experienced.  I have never in my life experienced His Presence so strongly.  I don't think I will ever be the same.  I am changed.  It was a milestone.  I feel like He has told me to GROW UP.  I may have made a decision that will wreck my little plan for life.  But, I am part of His HUGE plan.  From here I just want to continue acknowledging Him.  He knows my heart.  I want to be known for who I am in Him.  I gave Him my all, I gave Him my life.  I'll see where He leads me.