Wednesday, July 22, 2009

discipline

The past few days  have been good.  We are now staying in a "guest house" (i.e. hostel) complete with A/C (something we haven't had at all on outreach), a toilet that flushes, and shower.  We're all sleeping good and I can't begin to describe how nice it is to sleep with covers ALL night!  We only have 5 more days of ministry which is absolutely crazy.  The team is tired and excited about Israel BUT, God is not finished here.  Our ministry has been lower key than most countries, but very good. Not a day goes by where I don't think about reunions with friends, wicklow, and america.  But with that comes nervousness.  I'm a scared about returning.  I'm scared about complacency, routine, relating, and not remembering all that I have seen and He has done over the past 5 months.  How do I begin to process it all when school starts immediately after I return?  


The past couple days and the remainder of our time here I am really practicing discipline, as I know this will be hard at home.  And although this is good its reminding me of routine and being in routine grosses me out (to be honest).  Routines so easily begins feeling monotonous and boring.  What I thrive off of is a real, intimate, and adventurous relationship with God.  A relationship that is completely dependent on God for everything.  I want to rely on God and it's hard when everything is at your fingertips and your main focus is school, not ministry.  I know that discipline is such a good thing but I am asking God to teach me what it looks like to be disciplined, adventurous, and dependent at the same time.


I am also being reminded that God is consistent.  He is the same in every nation.  And He yearns (more than me) for this deep, intimate relationship to continue.  I love the verse in Psalm 139 that says, "Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?"  He is always there.  Always.  Nothing can separate me from His loving presence.  My security rests in Him alone and He is totally trustworthy.  This is a glorious adventure in which He is always doing something new.  


Pray for this last week.  Pray for focus.  Pray for dependency.  Pray for Pattaya. And pray that God would continue revealing Himself.

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