will we go?

I'm challenged once again.  Missions.  The word always grabs my heart.  It's what the Bible is all about.  It's the theme from Genesis to Revelation.  If we are Christians, we are Abrahams descendents, which means we are missionaries.  It's ALL over the Bible.  Connect the stories of what God did in the Old Testament and the New.  How can we continuely ignore this calling/purpose of our lives???  Trade up our little stories, our small ambitions, and to be part of the BIG story.  ONE story.  There is something incredibly freeing knowing where this story is going to end.  He keeps his promise that His glory will fill the earth and ALL nations will worship Him.  But there is part of this journey that has not been pioneered yet.  We have one life, one chapter to be part of this unfolding EPIC story.  His story is going to go on forever (not ours) and we get to be a part of it.  I want to write pages/beautiful lines in His story.

I feel like everyday I wrestle with either going home and continuing my life knowing and believing that God will use me where I am OR giving up my life and letting Him take me where the gospel is not known.  Everyone wants a comfortable life filled with blessings.  But the thing is, we are earning our own blessings.  OUR life and OUR desires revolve around getting these blessings.  We become consumed by this.  The challenge we will face the rest of our lives is wanting to put the blessings before the blessor.  

Missions has always been a major issue for the church.  Paul preached this,  he challenged the Israelites to go to the Gentiles.  The Israeli's were infuriated with Paul...saying 'rid the earth of him!' (Acts 22)  Just like the Israelites, there are deep roots of the "me" mentality continuing today.  So, why be involved in missions?  I believe the most important passage is Gen. 12:1-4.  It says,

The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; 

  I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

  I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse;

  and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

I still have no answers.  I'm confused.  What is the reality of this?  What does this mean my life will look like?  I'm inspired and challenged.  Any thoughts?